Thursday, March 5, 2020

About not allowing yourself to feel good.

When Happiness Feels Like a Betrayal Sometimes we don’t let ourselves feel good—like really good—if the people around us aren’t okay. There’s this deep need to show solidarity, to stay close to the pain, b
ut in doing that, we end up invalidating our own happiness. You might feel like you don’t deserve to feel good when others are struggling. Like it’s a privilege you haven’t earned. Their misery somehow cancels out your joy. And if you do feel happy, guilt creeps in. You question it. You judge it. You wonder if it’s selfish. I don’t think that helps anyone. Society kind of reinforces this, right? The message is: “Don’t be selfish.” As if being happy while others aren’t is some kind of betrayal. But being miserable with people doesn’t actually serve them. It doesn’t fix anything. Your joy doesn’t invalidate their pain. And their pain doesn’t make your joy wrong. Being connected doesn’t mean we have to suffer in sync. Sometimes the most generous thing we can do… is let ourselves feel good.