A Therapist Path Beyond Burn Out

How Much Do You Really Want to Change Your Life? People usually rush straight to the result. They want transformation, fast, the breakthrough, the glow-up, the success story. But that’s not the ideal path. That’s not how deep change works. Real change doesn’t begin with effort, It begins with space, with Preparation. A blank canvas. Before anything else, you have to reset. Not force your way into a version of life that feels impossible. Not focus on what’s missing or what’s hard. But go inward

Empty out the noise. Let your own mind take you where it needs to go. It knows. Because you don’t build a new life on top of an old, cluttered one. You start fresh. Softly. Quietly. You prepare. And from there — from the blank canvas — The new vision emerges.

Prepare: The Hidden Strength of Relaxation

We hear the word relax and often think of something lazy—like flopping on a couch or checking out of life. But real relaxation, the kind I’m talking about here, is anything but lazy. It’s a skill. A recalibration of the nervous system. And it takes practice. This chapter is called Prepare for a reason. Because before we go anywhere deeper—into healing, into change—we need to know how to access this baseline. To drop in. To settle. To breathe. The truth is, we complicate things way too much. We chase strategies, systems, productivity hacks—but the techniques that create real equilibrium in the brain and body are deceptively simple. That doesn’t make them easy. You will resist them. Especially if your body has been wired for stress, control, or chaos. But don’t mistake that resistance as failure. It’s just a signal that you’re touching the edge of a pattern. And even one conscious breath is enough to interrupt it. Breathing is how we begin to shift. Not in the middle of a breakdown or a crisis—but through steady, intentional practice. When it becomes a natural reflex in your body, you won’t need elaborate rituals. Just your intention. Just your breath. So before you move forward, ask yourself: Have I developed the discipline to show up for this part? Not perfectly. Just honestly. Because from here, everything else builds.

Breathe First. Think Later.

If you’re in a creative mode, it’s more likely that you’ll find the solutions you’re looking for. That’s not just poetic—it’s biological. Breathing consciously prepares the brain to function in an optimal state. When you slow down and deepen your breath, you’re not just calming your nerves; you’re increasing cortical function and activating connections across different brain regions. It balances key neurotransmitters, so messages can actually reach your cognition. In simple terms, the information starts to flow again. Imagine your brain as an immense information library. The frontal and parietal lobes are like the top floors, where the higher-order thinking, problem-solving, and insight live. Conscious breathing is like activating the elevator that takes you there—fast. This is called cognition. When you breathe deeply: Stress hormones like cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline decrease. DHEA (a hormone linked to resilience and well-being) increases. Cognitive clarity and emotional regulation improve. The need for false external comfort—food, drugs, alcohol, addictive behaviors—starts to fade. Why? Because when you feel connected to your body and brain, you're less likely to numb or escape. You feel good after breathing. You feel present. This is not magic. It’s neurobiology and self-awareness teaming up. Breathing won’t solve your problems for you. But it will place you in a creative, receptive, and regulated state. From there, you can see new options. You can connect with your intuition. The right side of your brain—the creative, intuitive side—starts to hum again. Your heart joins in, sending feedback signals that reinforce coherence and emotional clarity. And from there, something unlocks. Not everything. But something. Enough to move. This is just one tool. It’s not the whole path—but it’s a good start. Use it. Experiment. Reflect. Keep going. Yvette Zwyssig Fact Check Links: Harvard Health: Relaxation techniques: Breath control helps quell errant stress response Frontiers in Human Neuroscience: Effects of Slow Breathing on Autonomic Function and Brain Activity

Addictions

How can it be possible for a person to overcome an addiction?... We don't understand the process of addiction. To me it is a fragmentation of the self (or Ego). It could be the illusion of an aggressive rupture of the original symbiotic diada Mother/ child? mean abandonment, At least something perceives like abandonment and betrayal. Or this fragmentation is created by opposite or broken primary-views (mirada) that constitute and structure the Ego/self. Like in the "double message" present in the history of the schizophrenia symptom. It is possible that the structure in the psychosis can offer some light to what happen in the addiction?.. ....everybody is lost, nobody understands addiction. NOBODY! I think that the Self is continued through the Other's look (la mirada del Otro) We are a symbolic reflection of the Other's eyes, I am convinced to this. when those eyes show us a fragmented self we are vulnerable to a "licking" of the Symbolic = Psychosis / or vulnerable to the licking of the imaginary = addiction. Now I think I am into something...of course, intergenerational trauma plays a role in this rupture🔹 Addiction as Fragmentation of the Self Yes — addiction can absolutely be seen as a response to fragmentation, not just behavioral but structural. The addict doesn’t use substances only to feel good, but often to bind what has come apart — to create a kind of false wholeness, a simulated continuity of self, when the true continuity has been ruptured. 🔹 The Symbiotic Dyad and Abandonment You say: “It could be the illusion of an aggressive rupture of the original symbiotic diada Mother/child.” Yes. Addiction often functions like a surrogate Other — one that promises perfect union, like the early mother. The abandonment is not always real — but the psyche registers it as real. The baby does not experience "reality" as separate from feeling; the loss of the mother is annihilation. This perceived annihilation leaves an open circuit that substances or compulsions later rush to fill. 🔹 The “Double Message” and Schizophrenia You're referencing Bateson's double bind theory here, and you’re right to connect it. In addiction, there is often an early paradoxical injunction: “Be yourself — but not like that.” “You’re safe with me — but only if you hide that part of you.” “You are loved — conditionally.” These conflicting messages structure a split ego — one that learns to adapt by dissociating from the forbidden self, which may later find expression in compulsive behaviors or substances. Schizophrenia makes visible this split in a disorganized symbolic reality. Addiction hides it behind compulsive repetition, but the wound is of the same nature: the Other’s mirada failed to reflect a coherent self. The Role of the Other’s Gaze — “La Mirada del Otro” We’re tapping into the notion that the Self is structured not as a closed entity but as a mirror-reflection organized through the Symbolic order — through language, name, meaning, mirada. “When those eyes show us a fragmented self we are vulnerable to a ‘taste’ of the Symbolic = Psychosis / or vulnerable to the taste of the Imaginary = addiction.” Yes. Psychosis emerges when the Symbolic fails — when the Name-of-the-Father (the structuring signifier) is foreclosed. Addiction, by contrast, might occur when the Imaginary (the image of the self) is wounded, when the mirror reflection is grotesque or broken, and substances serve to temporarily reorganize or numb the pain of seeing it. For Intergenerational Trauma The rupture isn’t just personal. If our parents themselves never felt mirrored — if they carried unresolved griefs, abandonments, unsymbolized traumas — then what gets passed down isn’t just behavior. It’s a gap in the Symbolic structure, a void, a non-place in the Self that can’t speak, can’t feel, can’t hold. And addiction… rushes to fill that place. So, How Does One Overcome Addiction? If we follow your theory, then healing addiction is not about willpower. It’s about: Being seen in a new, coherent way — in a gaze that does not fragment, shame, or double-bind. Restoring Symbolic anchoring giving language and name to that which was unspeakable, unable to put in words, that we call Integrating the Imaginary and Symbolic. allowing the mirror to reflect a whole-enough self. Working through the intergenerational gaps — mourning what was never received, metabolizing the inherited silence. Recovery, then, is a slow,process of restructuring the field of the gaze, internal and external, so the Self can appear, again, without needing to split or numb.

Visualizacion en el Bosque

Attention

Why some people are attention seekers? (Kind of most of us?) Having attention in our early years from another human: Mother...Father...it means to learn you are present. YOU ARE. so when we feel the need of other peoples attention is because we are not sure who we are, so we need the mirror in others eyes. Yvette Zwyssig